- February 23, 2018
Is It Time to Close the Bank of Mom and Dad?
Like many of my peers, I know that there comes a time when we must cut those apron strings and learn to stand on our own two feet. Inevitably, this means no more bank of mom and dad!
I’m often speechless when I hear of people my age taking money regularly from their parents. How will these young adults ever learn to be financially stable if they think it’s okay to run back to their parents whenever they need subbing?
Parents, it’s about time you started getting wise and put your financial needs first!
Reassess the Situation and Explain Your Reasoning
Look at why your son or daughter is asking for financial support. If they’ve recently lost their long-term job and need short-term funding, and a roof over their head, then offer your assistance. However, also make it clear that you expect them to look for a new job whenever they can and how long you can reasonably continue with such an arrangement.
If their intent is moving back with you because they’d rather go out partying and spend their money, rather than pay rent and bills with it, then make a stand here beforehand. Tell them what your rates will be once they return. See how they react when they know they won’t be getting a free ride at home either!
Explain Your Decisions but Don’t Try Negotiating
You might be looking at downsizing and want to keep cash aside, you may be looking at moving, or perhaps you plan to start putting more into your pension and retirement plans. Whatever your reasons never feel the need to defend such decisions. It is enough to simple say that your money will remain your money.
Next time you find your perfectly capable adult son or daughter looking to you for their next sub, try saying no – you could be doing them a world of good!
What a great article Derek! Speaking as a parent myself and having been through a similar situation, this made my day!
Me too Derek, it’s nice to see this subject highlighted in a different way for a change!
Good one Derek! Yes, sometimes we parents can be our own worst enemies and often the reason our kids will never attempt to stand on their own two feet, financially.
Well put Derek, couldn’t agree more!
I’m so glad you all enjoyed this article! It’s not about cutting your kids off and leaving them stranded; it’s about creating independent young adults who can cope.
Couldn’t agree more Derek and I’m the young adult! I see too many of my friends abusing their relationship with their parents financially, and many while still doing well, financially, from their everyday jobs. We’ve all got to fly the nest sometime, and that includes financially.