For the internet astronauts and fellow online business owners… Here is a list I found of classic geek terms from the 90′s that I’m sure you’ll appreciate.
Adminisphere:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Alpha Geek:
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek around here.”
Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer:
Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!”
Bozone:
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
down in the near future.
Cashtration:
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
CGI Joe:
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Crapplet:
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin’ crapplet!”
Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.
Depotphobia:
Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia.
Dilberted:
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. “I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”
Elvis Year:
The peak year of something’s popularity. “Barney the dinosaur’s Elvis year was 1993.”
Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
Generica:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. “We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in.”
Glazing:
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?”
Gray Matter:
Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
Idea Hamsters:
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example..
It’s a Feature:
From the adage “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
Keyboard Plaque:
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. “Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque.”
Kinstipation:
A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
Lullabuoy:
An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.
Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a big mistake.
Open-Collar Workers:
People who work at home or telecommute.
Pebcak:
Tech support shorthand for “Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard.” Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They’ve submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is ID10T: “This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.”
Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cubefarm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
Salmon Day:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.
Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything and then leaves.
Square-headed Girlfriend:
Another word for a computer. The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a “computer widow.”
Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Treeware:
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Umfriend:
A sexual relation of dubious standing. “This is uh.. Dale, my…um…friend…”
World Wide Wait:
The real meaning of WWW.
Yuppie Food Stamps:
The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: “We all owe $8 each, but all anybody’s got is yuppie food stamps.”
Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
List from Thomas Bätzler
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